No Regrets
by KarmicRuffia
Summary: Wolfstar (SiriusRemus) SLASH. The Marauders have created hell on Earth once again- or, more like, hell on Hogwarts. But when James suggests a game of Truth or Dare... how will they deal with what happens? One-shot.


I regretted nothing.

Not the green hair Peter woke up with.

Nor the fire in the Quidditch pitch.

Nor the Cornish pixies in the DADA classroom.

I didn't regret James's new appendage (although James did- three arms is too much).

Nor the newly-declawed Mrs Norris (Easily fixed with the_ Unguibus _charm).

Not even Professor Slughorn's new pet armchair (it squealed and everything).

No regrets were given to Remus's purple skin.

Nor the dancing, irremovable Quidditch broom in the Entrance Hall.

Nor the flying books in the library.

But the thing I didn't regret the most- that was the fact that Snivellus's wardrobe was now varying shades of hot pink, Gryffindor red, and rainbow- the most garish rainbows ever.

* * *

It had been a hell of a night, and I, Sirius Orion Black, had been right in the thick of it, creating the hellish nightmare that the twisted burrow that was Moony's mind had imagined. It was not without casualties to ourselves, but as we'd hexed every single person in this castle last night, it would be suspicious if we were untouched, hence Peter's hair, James's arm, Remus's purple-ness, and my own army of cats (I had about six, and they wouldn't quit following me).

In the morning I jumped out of bed and tugged Remus out of his, not daring to wake up James and not particularly caring about Peter. My mini-army trailed behind me, mewling and scratching things. I grinned at them. "I have an army."

"Is that right," said Remus, running his hand through his honey-colored hair.

"It is," I affirmed, pointedly not noticing that Remus clashed with his bed. "Now get up, or my army will scratch you to death."

"I'm getting up, I'm getting up- jeez." Remus tried to look innocent, but the devilish glint in his eyes gave him away. I wondered how the teachers never pinned him as the person behind the chaos that was Hogwarts. He _never _got caught, even though he was the mastermind behind it all- it was always James and I that Minnie nabbed.

"I can hear your brain working," said Remus with his usual tact. "Are you actually thinking, or is the smoke from something else entirely?"

"Something else entirely?" I said, unsure. "What are we talking about?"

"Never mind," said Remus with a sigh. "Forget it." We continued our descent from the Common Room to the Great Hall, and I wondered if I could get away with Transfiguring Moony's hair pink, to match his skin.

Probably not. I valued my life.

That morning at breakfast, I expressed the amount of shock and horror that was appropriate to the situation. Several of the teachers gave me dirty looks, and to diffuse the amount of blame that was sure to be piled on my soon, I marched over to Minnie and said loudly, "look at these! They won't stop following me! And they meow, and they scratch and poop and _please fix this_!"

McGonagall looked down at me and said clearly, "I will not, as I assume that you are behind this, Mr Black."

I looked suitably shocked. "What? No!"

She gave me a stern glare. "We have ways of finding these thing out," she growled.

"Veratiserum is illegal for that kind of use, Minnie," I reminded her.

"I do not believe it actually is."

"Immoral?"

"That, I will give you, Black. But still- No."

"You tear my heart out, Minnie, you really do," I said, groaning. Then I turned away, and as soon as I was sure Minnie couldn't see me, I grinned. She believed me in her heart.

I went and sat down next to where Peter and James had finally showed up. "Finally got down here, did you?" I asked between a mouthful of Remus's eggs, while Remus systematically stabbed me with a fork. "Took you long enough."

"Did you see what some tosser did to me?" James said, winking. "And I can't even move the third arm; it's bloody useless."

"Poor Prongs," I said, mock sympathetically. "I'm sure Evans will kiss it better, though, if you ask nice enough."

"Shut your gob," he glowered, and I smiled innocently. The last time James had asked Evans to kiss something better he had ended up in the hospital wing with an arm broken the muggle way, and Madame Valkyrie hadn't fixed it the wizard way, either. "I know where you sleep."

"Oh, yeah, I'm definitely scared now," I smirked, "Just shaking in my boots."

"You'd better be."

"Yeah, totally," put in Peter. "James would totally kick your ass."

"Of course he would, Wormtail," I said, patronizing. "Of course he would. He and his big, scary- do you call those muscles?"

For my troubles, I got a goblet of pumpkin juice aimed at my head.

"_That's mature."_

* * *

I, it has to be said, have the best seat in Transfiguration. In front of Peter, so I don't have to listen to him all the time; beside James, my best friend, so I can mess around with him during class; and Remus sits in front of me, so I can stare at the back of his head and daydream.

Sometimes this worries me, that I don't have any qualms about staring at the back of one of my best mate's head and daydreaming about what my life would be like if we were together, but not often. I'm gay, and I honestly don't care. Not about what other people think, not about what other people could do to me, not about any of that.

Correction: I do kind of care about what Remus thinks, because he's been the object of my affections for the last four years. But he knows about my… sexual orientation, and he's fine with it- he just doesn't know who exactly it is that I'm in love with.

And that's the way it's going to stay.

Transfiguration wasn't exactly going anywhere that day. With all the people hexed and jinxed last night, Minnie kind of had her hands full- it wasn't like _she _knew it would all disappear in three hours. She had set us to practicing turning our 'pet' frogs into muggle wind-up toys, but no-one was actually doing it. After all, I reasoned, it wasn't like we were going to defeat He Who Must Not Be Named with jumping, plastic frogs.

A piece of paper hit me on the head. I unwrapped it, knowing with a sinking feeling that it wasn't going to be good.

_Go bac to were you came from your a faggot_, it said.

In my own rushed handwriting, I wrote back on it, not particularly caring.

_Learn to spell, please, _I said. _Your lack of correct grammar is sort of annoying_.

I tossed it over my shoulder, and hoped to god that it wouldn't come back.

"Who was that?" asked Remus, over his shoulder.

"Dunno," I said. "Someone who doesn't know how to spell the word 'awesome' properly. They spelt it 'f-a-g-g-o-t', can you imagine that?"

"Oh, no," said Remus in mock agony. "Someone who can't spell 'awesome', how will the world cope?"

"I know," I agreed, blatantly ignoring the sarcasm. "Tragic."

"Of course," Remus rolled his eyes before turning back to his frog, and whispering whatever the incantation we were supposed to be using was- I wasn't exactly sure.

James looked between us, and smiled slowly. "Shot down, Padfoot?"

"Shut up, James." I said, curling my fingers into a fist. "Shut up and don't say anything about this ever again."

"Whatever you say, Padfoot." James leaned back to his desk, but not before I saw the twinkle in his eyes.

_Oh_ _shit_, I thought. _James has got an idea_.

What was I going to do?

* * *

I knew being friends with James Potter would come back to bite me on the ass.

I mean, since birth I'd heard a lot about the Potters. My family were such elitists that it was a given- I'd known all about every pureblood family ever since birth. Both my brother and I had been tutored as children, and that had been one of the classes we'd had. But the Potters were ones that our father had sneered at, and our mother had cursed their name. They were- as my mother had said- _muggle-lovers_.

I think their real problem was that Potter was a Gryffindor family, but there you go. For a decade, my life had been directed to hate the Potters, hate the Weasleys, hate the Prewitts, and all the others that associated with peace and love and muggles.

I think that's why I had a couple of pro-muggle posters on my wall, I thought. Of course, I didn't live there anymore- last summer had seen to _that_- but I'd put a Permanent Sticking Charm on the posters, and the Gryffindor stuff- and the hot women, which was mostly to piss off my parents even more, seeing as I didn't swing that way.

But anyway- back to James.

James's pranks are legendary. James's ideas are splenderific (excuse me if that's not a word) and James needs both Moony and I to pull them off on any _normal_ day.

Unfortunately, this was not a normal day, and I knew that James was soon to be dead with what he was doing. And don't get me wrong, I knew _exactly _what was going on when James announced that he wanted a house-and-year-wide game of Truth or Dare.

Lily was smart. Lily knew that sooner or later she would get dared to kiss James. So Lily didn't play.

_I _played, because it would be suspicious if I didn't, seeing as I was James's partner in crime, his sidekick (yeah, like I could ever be sidekick to anything. You can't get your hands on this awesomeness, man), his crazy best friend with the best hair in the school. Except for old Dumbledore's. I can only aspire to the length of that thing. I think it secretly has a mind of its own and is planning to take over the school.

But that's just me.

So Remus, James, Peter, the rest of Gryffindor Sixth Year and I sat down to play a huge game of Truth or Dare.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Did you really Transfigure Professor Slughorn's chair so it bit him every time he sat down in Third Year?"

"Um… Yeah…"

"I knew it! I knew that was you! Ha! You're such a liar."

(Surprisingly enough, that conversation featured none of us Marauders, only Mary McDonald and Frank Longbottom).

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Give Severus Snape shampoo as a birthday present."

"Is it his birthday?"

"No."

"Damn you."

(Peter and Mary.)

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever kissed a guy?"

"Dare."

"Fine. I dare you to tell me who the guy you kissed was."

"…Shacklebolt. But it was for a dare! I swear it was!"

(Scarily, this was between Remus and James. And James was the one being dared.)

"Sirius." James said, staring right at me with an evil grin. That boy was going straight to hell, Do not pass GO, Do not collect $200.

"What?" I said, trying to remain calm.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." I said, confidant that he couldn't catch me out with this one.

"Would you ever kiss Moony?"

_You evil pig._

"Who's Moony?" squeaked Cheyenne Brown.

"Re-" Peter managed to get out before James put his hand over his mouth. "Nobody. Answer the question, Sirius."

"Yeah, answer the question!"

"Dare. I choose Dare." I knew that this was defunct, seeing as he'd just dare me to clarify, but as long as I could put it off…

"I dare you to kiss Remus."

_James Potter, think of the most painful thing you know. Yeah. That's what's going to happen to you very, very soon._

* * *

**Remus's POV:**

_That little shit._

I _knew_ that when I'd told him that I was bored it would come back to bite me. I _knew _ I should have kept my mouth shut.

So why the hell didn't I?

At that moment, I would have given anything to be reading _Advanced Defense Theory_, or _100 Ways to Disarm an Opponent Wandlessly_.

I would rather be reading _Charms for Chums, _ for Pete's sake.

_"I dare you to kiss Remus_."

Sirius looked at me and said softly, "Is that all right with you?"

I glared at James. "Fine. Don't want you to skip out and lose for this. But James, _you_ are why this school is going to hell in a handbasket."

Sirius gave me a blinding smile. "Thank Merlin. I would hate to have to forfeit to James for something like _this_. I mean, I would forfeit if it was Snape-"

("Damn, I should have thought of that," muttered James)-

"But this is just you, Remus, and honestly it's not worth dancing to _I Will Survive _in only my underpants."

"Not sure whether I should be insulted or relieved right now, but okay."

"Oh, and one more thing," smirked James. "There is a minimum time you have to spend kissing…"

("_Ewww,_" said Marlene McKinnon. "They're both boys, that's _gross_.")

("Go screw yourself," said Sirius, who I knew was quite gay.)

"_What_?" I asked loudly, shocked as hell. "Merlin's pants, James, _why_?"

"..Because otherwise it isn't, let's say, _daring_ enough."

"James made a funny!" smiled Peter.

Marlene gagged, Frank looked insulted to be sitting in the same room as Peter, Kingsley just stared around the room silently judging people like he was wont to do, and Sirius, James and I scrambled as far away from the fourth Marauder as we possibly could without being too obvious.

"Well," I said, arching a brow at Sirius. "Are we going to do this, or what?"

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Or I lose the bet and embarrass myself more that I do on a daily basis."

"Well, come on then," I said, not really believing that I was actually urging my best friend to kiss me- never in a million years did I ever think _that _was going to happen- yet going along with it all the same.

"One minute," said James, "starting… now!"

Sirius pulled my face towards him and crushed my lips to his.

It was a bit weird at first- I don't swing that way- and I could hear James counting down in the background, which I later joked was a mood-killer. But Sirius was a _really _good kisser. Not even Fiona Fortescue was that good a kisser, and she was the school slut, practially- and was commonly renowned for being the best kisser in our year, or any of the other years for that matter.

I had snogged her last week after History of Magic, after she'd cornered me in the fifth-floor corridor. She was fantastic- but not nearly as good as Sirius.

_I wonder what this means for my sexuality, _I thought idly around the thirty-second mark.

_I don't bloody care, _was my thoughts around the fifteen-second mark.

"Time," said James, and we sprang apart, panting.

Sirius gave me a grin, and said with the Marauder smirk that we were all so good at, "Didn't know you were such a good kisser, Remus."

I think Marlene fainted at that point, but I wasn't too sure, seeing as I was giving both Sirius and James the finger at the same time. "Next time, James, think up a dare that doesn't involve me snogging Sirius. Or me snogging anyone, for that matter. Honestly. I don't care what you two do, as long as _I _ don't have to."

"Aww, Remus," said James. "I think you just broke Siri's heart."

"He'll live," I said stonily. "All right, who's next?"

* * *

**Sirius's POV:**

Well, _that _killed the mood.

I smiled and continued with the game, but I wasn't really in it now with my whole head. I looked around the room to find someone… anyone, for a random snog or one night stand, to make me forget that comment- not Remus's one, either, but James's.

_I think you just broke Siri's heart_.

No shit, you insensitive berk.

But alas, girls that I had any attraction to- at all- were nonexistent, which I suppose held great hope for me as a nancy but not so much hope if I didn't want to be beaten up by five different people for my… ahem… sexual preferences on any given day. So I didn't, and then I went up early to bed and got up early enough to avoid everyone and then stayed away from people as much as I could all day, before sitting silently at dinner picking moodily at my chicken, and then going to bed early again. This cycle repeated itself for a couple of days, which turned into weeks, until people got the point and just pushed off and left me alone. James stopped badgering me, Peter stopped harping on at me for hurting James's feelings, and Remus just sent hurt looks my way on a irregular basis, which sent tiny little ice daggers into my heart but didn't really change much.

I found myself without my friends, without my sanity, and without a passing Potions grade because I'm useless at studying without Moony around to shove my head in a book. And I know it's all very clichéd and angsty but I just couldn't do it- face him again.

Which, I suppose, is around the point that the meek little werewolf, everyone's favourite pushover, came stalking around the corridor, pushed me up against the wall, and punched me with about half of his strength, which, mind you, is about the same as a normal person's full strength, so it bloody well _hurt_.

"What was that for?" I cried out in outrage, a knee-jerk reaction.

"You know very well what that's for," growled Remus. "For Pete's sake-"

"Why for Pete's sake? Let's just leave Peter out of this,"

"-For goodness sake," Remus amended, "you've been avoiding us for _days _now-"

"… only days? I thought it was at least a month by now."

"Will you stop bloody interrupting me? As I was saying, it's got to stop. I can understand why you're angry at James- _I'm _livid at him for that stunt he pulled, that is going _too far_, but it's no excuse. Peter doesn't deserve the treatment you're giving him- I don't care how annoying he is, it is not okay to call him a 'goblin faced jerk-off' in the middle of Charms! He just asked to borrow a quill! And I don't know what you think I've done- I bloody saved your neck that day, do you really want to be stripping to Gloria Gaynor in front of McGonagall?"

I shook my head.

"Good, because that would be disturbing." He gave a little half-smile, which normally would have made my insides melt, but my hormones were already going into overdrive so it didn't really matter.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into my hands, which were on my face to stop the blood issuing from my nose.

"Good," Remus nodded, looking pleased with himself. "_Episkey_."

I felt very hot, then very cold, and a sharp pain ran up my face as my nose was wrenched back into position. It was not a pleasant feeling. I touched my nose, but it was fine now, bar the slick blood that covered it and the rest of my face. Looking down at Remus, my heart went all fuzzy and pleased he'd forgiven me, and I smiled a half-smile that I was sure would make him forget the past week.

It didn't.

"Oh, no you don't, Sirius Black," he growled, his amber eyes darkening to a dangerous colour that I couldn't put my finger on. "No. This will not be forgotten that easily. You are in a heap of trouble, and I mean a _big _heap. Like, a Peter-sized heap…"

He was still talking, but I was tuned out. A deep, hazy feeling had come over me and I was basking in it. This feeling- it was better that chocolate and nicotine combined, better than the smell of Moony and tree sap, better than rolling around in the grass on full moons.

This feeling- it was love.

Oh, I'd known I was in love for ages, by then. I knew it, but I'd never really felt the _rightness _of it until then, the feeling that whatever happens it'll be okay and turn out fine.

And so I did it, without a second of doubt of fear. Because, y'know, no regrets, right?

I kissed him.

And he kissed back.

I'd never thought of Remus as a dominating sort of person. He was quiet, and bookish, and while I knew he was one of the most physically strong people I would ever meet, his lycanthropy had caused him to be sort of an introvert- if that was the right word. He played parts in my pranks with James, yes; they were, after all, his ideas. But he would never speak up about it. Because Remus? He just didn't want to stand out from the herd.

But now- I could see, first hand, the dominating side that I had been taught about when studying werewolves. I could see what they'd meant when they said that a werewolf was always the leader in a pack, be it a pack of wolves, dogs, or any other- if a werewolf was part of it, he would be the leader.

But kissing him? That was the icing on the cake.

We both fought for dominance, both wanting control over the other. His hands brought me closer to him, as he asserted his right, as leader of our 'pack', to have the lead in this age-old dance. I stepped down from the challenge, letting him have control, losing myself in his heady scent of chocolate and oranges.

Then I felt the air on my lips as he pulled away, looking in horror at me. I felt my smile drop, and I worked to keep it in place, letting the Sirius charm creep onto my face.

"What was that?" growled Remus, almost angrily.

"I kissed you," I said, detached, almost missing what he'd said. "I kissed you. I never thought I'd-"

" I think we've established what you've done, Sirius. My question is why you did what you did."

"Why do you think, Moony?" I smiled crookedly. "Why do people normally kiss other people?"

"Well, usually it's due to strong emotion, such as hurt, lust, or even love, but in your case-"

"In my case what, Remus?"

"You're a guy. Guys don't kiss each other. Not like that." He breathed out slowly, and my heart quickened. I put my hands on his face, and said with my usual confidence, "you need to smile more, Remy. Does it really matter?"

"Have you been cursed?" He said abruptly.

"Have I- what? No!"

"Of course, that's what you'd say if you had been cursed... Sirius! Who instigated the great riot of '73?!"

"It was all Snivellus's fault, of course- where are you going with this?"

"It's not the curse that got Avery last year, then. That one replaced all his thoughts with Nott's opinions. Unless it was James… no. He wouldn't do that. Favorite color?"

"Red, and I'm not cursed."

"Of course you're cursed. Not with an Opposing Hex, but cursed all the same. Could be the Imperius Curse... But no, who'd want to make you kiss me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Uh… me?"

The corridor seemed to stretch out as the last of the haze drifted away and self-doubt and worry drifted away.

"You?" he whispered.

And then he launched himself at me, attacking my lips like there was no tomorrow, and let me tell you, by that time I had _no_ idea what was going on.

"So… does this mean we're together, or…"

He put his hand over my mouth. "Shut up, Pads."

"Mmmph mhhfgh," I replied.

He kissed me once more. "If that was you asking me out," he smirked, "then this is me saying yes."

* * *

**Lily's POV:**

As I watched the two boys out in the corridor, I felt my mouth fall open.

Beside me, Potter laughed, a deep, throaty bark. "I believe you owe me ten Galleons, Evans," he grinned, holding his hand out.

"You suck, Potter," I groaned as I poured the money into his hands and stalked away from the two boys playing tonsil hockey in the middle of the- thankfully empty- Charms corridor.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So... this was just a plot bunny that demanded to be written. Sorry. Reviews are greatly appreciated and shall be fed to the Marauders for breakfast (because for some reason they don't eat normal food- except for Peter, who only eats toast now.)**

**Disclaimer: Believe, if I owned these guys, I would NOT be here. i would be publishing a nice, lengthy story about how they boys ****REALLY**** got together.**

**So then it would be canon and we could all be happy.**

**Karma Out. **


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